Day four of "our story"
Paul lived about an hour away at the time, but came down to our hometown for church Tuesday
nights to help with youth and then again to his parents for the weekend
on Friday nights to get his laundry done and go to church on Sunday. One
night he told me he was going to try to find a church closer to his apartment so he wasn't driving back and forth twice a week. He never found another
church...
Around late October we finally admitted to each other, that despite trying not to have feelings for each other... we did. He found me to be a very impressive young lady who any man would be blessed to marry one day. I found him to be more than what I could have dreamed up the perfect guy to be. We never had a set date of "going out" or a certain time of when we became "boy friend & girl friend", we just were. But, no one else knew we were. Due to the age difference, we didn't tell anyone outside of our family.
It was still at least a few weeks after we knew we were a couple that I let him put his arm around me and we finally held hands. There had been a bon fire for the church youth at someone's house. Paul and I were there, we talked a bit but not enough to draw attention to the fact we were together. I left the event shortly after Paul did, and I had to stop by his parents house to pick up dish he had borrowed (ok, maybe it was a butter dish that was completely throw away but we will ignore that fact). While we were outside by my car talking, he put his arm around me. He asked if it was ok and if I was comfortable with it, because he really wanted to put his arms around me. I remember feeling my heart beating in my throat, I remember feeling like I almost couldn't breathe, and of course I loved it.
By the holiday season Paul was over to my families house almost every Friday night for dinner, and I went to his parents Saturday afternoon and stayed for dinner. Normally, he would stop by after Youth on Tuesday nights. We talked on the phone the nights we didn't get to see each other. Sometimes until 1am. The poor guy had to go to work the next day.... I guess he really enjoyed talking to me. I was still adding things to my future husband list that were Pauls characteristics. I knew one thing for sure, if I didn't marry him I still wanted a man who was like him.
Our time spent with our families, as opposed to alone on dates, meant that we got to get to know each other for who we really were. Its hard to be fake around your family. Also our family could see our relationship, how we interacted and tell us of any red flags they saw. It also meant that preserving our purity was easier. Since we were not really alone much, we couldn't get into situations where compromising our values would be easy.
We had Thanksgiving dinner with each others family, then Christmas. I knew Paul was a goofball while at the same time very serious about things he needed to be serious about. Obviously, he could take a good joke too, since his uncle sent his Christmas gift in a Kotex box.
He left to go out of state shortly after Christmas to visit family. It was then I realized just how much we talked. Even though it wasn't really any different in the time between when I would normally get to see him, I didn't get to talk to him on the phone. It was back in the dark ages of roaming charges on cell phones (kids, that meant if you were out of state, they charged an arm and leg for you to use your cell phone). We emailed a lot while he was gone (which by the way, our email was not on our phones). One email I got from him said something about people talking about their best friends, and he realized then that I was his best friend. I knew he was my best friend by that point too.
What I really wanted to know is if he would be my husband one day. I so badly wanted him to be.
Paul lived about an hour away at the time, but came down to our hometown for church Tuesday
nights to help with youth and then again to his parents for the weekend
on Friday nights to get his laundry done and go to church on Sunday. One
night he told me he was going to try to find a church closer to his apartment so he wasn't driving back and forth twice a week. He never found another
church...Around late October we finally admitted to each other, that despite trying not to have feelings for each other... we did. He found me to be a very impressive young lady who any man would be blessed to marry one day. I found him to be more than what I could have dreamed up the perfect guy to be. We never had a set date of "going out" or a certain time of when we became "boy friend & girl friend", we just were. But, no one else knew we were. Due to the age difference, we didn't tell anyone outside of our family.
It was still at least a few weeks after we knew we were a couple that I let him put his arm around me and we finally held hands. There had been a bon fire for the church youth at someone's house. Paul and I were there, we talked a bit but not enough to draw attention to the fact we were together. I left the event shortly after Paul did, and I had to stop by his parents house to pick up dish he had borrowed (ok, maybe it was a butter dish that was completely throw away but we will ignore that fact). While we were outside by my car talking, he put his arm around me. He asked if it was ok and if I was comfortable with it, because he really wanted to put his arms around me. I remember feeling my heart beating in my throat, I remember feeling like I almost couldn't breathe, and of course I loved it.
By the holiday season Paul was over to my families house almost every Friday night for dinner, and I went to his parents Saturday afternoon and stayed for dinner. Normally, he would stop by after Youth on Tuesday nights. We talked on the phone the nights we didn't get to see each other. Sometimes until 1am. The poor guy had to go to work the next day.... I guess he really enjoyed talking to me. I was still adding things to my future husband list that were Pauls characteristics. I knew one thing for sure, if I didn't marry him I still wanted a man who was like him.
Our time spent with our families, as opposed to alone on dates, meant that we got to get to know each other for who we really were. Its hard to be fake around your family. Also our family could see our relationship, how we interacted and tell us of any red flags they saw. It also meant that preserving our purity was easier. Since we were not really alone much, we couldn't get into situations where compromising our values would be easy.
We had Thanksgiving dinner with each others family, then Christmas. I knew Paul was a goofball while at the same time very serious about things he needed to be serious about. Obviously, he could take a good joke too, since his uncle sent his Christmas gift in a Kotex box.
He left to go out of state shortly after Christmas to visit family. It was then I realized just how much we talked. Even though it wasn't really any different in the time between when I would normally get to see him, I didn't get to talk to him on the phone. It was back in the dark ages of roaming charges on cell phones (kids, that meant if you were out of state, they charged an arm and leg for you to use your cell phone). We emailed a lot while he was gone (which by the way, our email was not on our phones). One email I got from him said something about people talking about their best friends, and he realized then that I was his best friend. I knew he was my best friend by that point too.
What I really wanted to know is if he would be my husband one day. I so badly wanted him to be.
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