Day three of "our story"
Paul started talking to me more after he realized I wasn't quite as young as he thought. Through the conversations we had online I got to know what an awesome guy he was. We had similar passions and beliefs. I talked to him about the book Choosing God's Best and we had very meaningful conversations about relationships and dating, and our future marriages. One time he was telling me how he wondered if something was wrong with him, that he wasn't married yet and wasn't even in a serious relationship and he was almost 25. I responded by telling him that either he wasn't ready, or, maybe the woman God had for him wasn't ready. I honestly didn't know why he didn't have a girlfriend. He seemed like the perfect guy.
I had decided to go all in on the letting God write my love story thing. So much that I decided I wasn't going to even kiss anyone else until I knew I was going to marry him. That was so far away from where I had been 6 months prior. You see, I wanted a boyfriend and I wanted to kiss a boy. Which I did, but it was not all movies had made it out to be. I really liked this one boy, but he had a girlfriend. I also liked another guy who was single, but he didn't want to ask me out. Following the advice of the first guy, I then involved yet another guy by flirting with him to make the second guy jealous. I know I hurt the third guy, and it was all out of selfishness. Selfishness is such an ugly thing when we realize what we have done. I didn't want to seek things out of selfishness any longer. That meant I wasn't going to take any more kisses that didn't belong to MY husband.
Since Paul was older than me, we were strictly friends. I mean, I did think he had the most spectacular blue eyes ever and he was super hot, for an old guy. But he was my friend, older, and not an option. I enjoyed talking to him online and found that as I got to know him, there were things about him I knew I wanted in a husband. So, I started adding to a list I was making. A future husband list. You know, when you go to the grocery store without a list and you end up forgetting things you wanted and getting a bunch of junk you don't need? Well, I viewed it the same for my future husband. I was making a list of what I was looking for in a future husband, and if a guy didn't meet my requirements, he wasn't going to be an option. Through my friendship with Paul, I found I was adding more and more to my list, based off of him.
Eventually he started calling me. This was after he stole my phone number, from my own phone. I still remember that night and how I was slightly perturbed by the fact he didn't ask me for my number. Remember guy number three? Well I had refused to go out with him simply because he got my number from a friend and didn't ask me for it. He also had his friend as me out for him, that was a no go for me even though I desperately wanted a boyfriend.
Soon enough, we were talking on the phone every night, and for hours at a time. I knew I found him to be an incredible man, really good looking, and exactly what I wanted to marry. He was just 8 years older than me, and when you are 16, that is a big difference. I also knew more than anything, I wanted to follow God's will for my life. I prayed a lot about what to do with the feelings I was having for him, and the feelings he finally admitted having for me.
Around the time of homecoming, Paul wanted to do something nice for me but knew he couldn't take me out on a date. He knew that since I was homeschooled I wouldn't be going to the homecoming dance. So he arranged to take me and a few of my friends out to a nice dinner so we could get all dressed up. He took us to the Chart House, and if you know how Paul doesn't like to spend his money, this was big for him. This grand gesture for me was unseen for others. They didn't know we spent hours on the phone, or that he was becoming my best friend. This man took us all out for dinner, just so he could take me out for Homecoming. He didn't get to sit next to me in the car and talk to me. I don't even think he sat right next to me at dinner. He was getting nothing out of it except creating a memorable night for me.
It was around this time that we began to spend a lot of time with each other, but only around our families. When we would go to leave each others houses, he would chase me around my car trying to get a hug, which I would only side hug at that. He was always respectful of me and my purity. Something quite opposite of what guy number one (from before) had told me a few months earlier, which was "I'm not interested in going out with you cause I know you won't do anything with me."
Paul started talking to me more after he realized I wasn't quite as young as he thought. Through the conversations we had online I got to know what an awesome guy he was. We had similar passions and beliefs. I talked to him about the book Choosing God's Best and we had very meaningful conversations about relationships and dating, and our future marriages. One time he was telling me how he wondered if something was wrong with him, that he wasn't married yet and wasn't even in a serious relationship and he was almost 25. I responded by telling him that either he wasn't ready, or, maybe the woman God had for him wasn't ready. I honestly didn't know why he didn't have a girlfriend. He seemed like the perfect guy.
I had decided to go all in on the letting God write my love story thing. So much that I decided I wasn't going to even kiss anyone else until I knew I was going to marry him. That was so far away from where I had been 6 months prior. You see, I wanted a boyfriend and I wanted to kiss a boy. Which I did, but it was not all movies had made it out to be. I really liked this one boy, but he had a girlfriend. I also liked another guy who was single, but he didn't want to ask me out. Following the advice of the first guy, I then involved yet another guy by flirting with him to make the second guy jealous. I know I hurt the third guy, and it was all out of selfishness. Selfishness is such an ugly thing when we realize what we have done. I didn't want to seek things out of selfishness any longer. That meant I wasn't going to take any more kisses that didn't belong to MY husband.
Since Paul was older than me, we were strictly friends. I mean, I did think he had the most spectacular blue eyes ever and he was super hot, for an old guy. But he was my friend, older, and not an option. I enjoyed talking to him online and found that as I got to know him, there were things about him I knew I wanted in a husband. So, I started adding to a list I was making. A future husband list. You know, when you go to the grocery store without a list and you end up forgetting things you wanted and getting a bunch of junk you don't need? Well, I viewed it the same for my future husband. I was making a list of what I was looking for in a future husband, and if a guy didn't meet my requirements, he wasn't going to be an option. Through my friendship with Paul, I found I was adding more and more to my list, based off of him.
Eventually he started calling me. This was after he stole my phone number, from my own phone. I still remember that night and how I was slightly perturbed by the fact he didn't ask me for my number. Remember guy number three? Well I had refused to go out with him simply because he got my number from a friend and didn't ask me for it. He also had his friend as me out for him, that was a no go for me even though I desperately wanted a boyfriend.
Soon enough, we were talking on the phone every night, and for hours at a time. I knew I found him to be an incredible man, really good looking, and exactly what I wanted to marry. He was just 8 years older than me, and when you are 16, that is a big difference. I also knew more than anything, I wanted to follow God's will for my life. I prayed a lot about what to do with the feelings I was having for him, and the feelings he finally admitted having for me.
Around the time of homecoming, Paul wanted to do something nice for me but knew he couldn't take me out on a date. He knew that since I was homeschooled I wouldn't be going to the homecoming dance. So he arranged to take me and a few of my friends out to a nice dinner so we could get all dressed up. He took us to the Chart House, and if you know how Paul doesn't like to spend his money, this was big for him. This grand gesture for me was unseen for others. They didn't know we spent hours on the phone, or that he was becoming my best friend. This man took us all out for dinner, just so he could take me out for Homecoming. He didn't get to sit next to me in the car and talk to me. I don't even think he sat right next to me at dinner. He was getting nothing out of it except creating a memorable night for me.
It was around this time that we began to spend a lot of time with each other, but only around our families. When we would go to leave each others houses, he would chase me around my car trying to get a hug, which I would only side hug at that. He was always respectful of me and my purity. Something quite opposite of what guy number one (from before) had told me a few months earlier, which was "I'm not interested in going out with you cause I know you won't do anything with me."
No comments:
Post a Comment